Episode 31 - Take A Moment To Breathe with Laurel Rutledge
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Sometimes you meet someone who you connect with so deeply and quickly that it feels almost surreal. Laurel Rutledge, my guest on the podcast this week, is definitely one of those people for me.
Laurel is a Career and Leadership Transformation Expert and HR Strategist who hosts a brilliant radio show of her own. I feel like this episode is basically a series of truth bombs, aha moments and quotables, and I am not mad about it at all!
Laurel and I talk a lot about self-awareness and the importance of leaving your ego at the door. As leaders, it can be very challenging to find the time to do the hard work of self-awareness. And yet, there’s nothing out there that replaces the work it takes to dig into our stories, beliefs/assumptions and leave our egos behind in service of growth and awareness. The more we do the real work on ourselves, the more we can be effective leader for others. It’s not selfish to be intentional about our personal growth and development, it’s actually imperative to our effectiveness and influence as a leader. A friend of Laurel’s likes to say: “You have to be a little selfish in order to be selfless.”
The hard truth is that in order to be the best for the people you are leading, you have to start with yourself and do the work on self-leadership first. If we as leaders aren’t doing the work to model the behaviour we expect in the people around us, then we can be seen as hypocrites and lose respect from the people we most want to inspire. At the end of the day, as Laurel reminds us, people around you are going to listen to what you say, but believe what you do. So putting your proverbial money where your proverbial mouth is actually matters! Remember, “real leadership isn’t about you. It’s about the people you are leading.”
One of the things that I appreciate most about Laurel is how practical and real she is. Because of her openness and breadth of experience, we were able to get into some really gritty conversation around cancel culture and toxic positivity. I think these are really important to be discussed openly and safely because there are consequences--and not always good ones--to both things.
I’ve been speaking up a lot lately about the danger of both, for different reasons. While I appreciate that cancel culture has a time and place that is very appropriate (Harvey Weinstein being the prime example of that). I think there are also many instances where people jump to cancelling someone, which removes that person’s ability to actually learn and grow from the situation at hand. And, as someone who firmly and wholeheartedly believes in the importance of a growth mindset and learning from our mistakes, that attitude concerns me. Especially, in the workplace and for leaders. Everyone is going to make mistakes. So, we should have some grace for some mistakes and allow people to learn, change, and grow when mistakes are brought to their attention.
Similarly, I have strong thoughts about the cult of positivity which can overlook the realities of situations or experiences in favour of positivity, just for the sake of it. I think that there is significant value in focusing on the bright side of things and finding the lesson and opportunity inside of crappy situations, however, not when it fails to acknowledge the actual situation at hand. I very much appreciated being able to talk through some of these things with Laurel and hear her perspective on these somewhat contentious topics!
A few of my key takeaways from this conversation are:
“Choices have consequences. We are free to make the choice, we are not free from the consequences of the choice we make.”
“Leadership is not about position. Leadership is about behavior. You can absolutely lead from the back.”
“If something’s not working, we have options to change it. This takes courage and humility.”
“Accountability rolls up. Responsibility is at all levels.”
I would love for you to share what some of yours are after listening. I guarantee you’re going to enjoy this one!
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To learn more about Laurel Rutledge you can find her online at https://laurelrutledge.com/. She is also on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurel-k-rutledge/), Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/therutledgeperspective), Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/laurel.k.rutledge/) and Twitter (https://twitter.com/laurelkrutledge?lang=en).