Episode 30 - Fearless Change with Jacqueline Wales
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Jacqueline Wales, motivational speaker, coach, author, AND my podcast guest today, said something very profound when we were speaking that has stuck with me since our conversation: “Being fearless is not the absence of fear, but rather the courage to take the next step.”
For those of you who know me well or have worked with me in some capacity, you know that one of my values is courage. I firmly believe in the power of momentum and the importance of moving forward--even if the steps are tiny--and intentionally operate in the world with the lens of having that courage. So, I have a particular affinity for this idea in general.
While this quote isn’t new to me entirely (Nelson Mandela said a version of it, among others), I think the reason it resonated so deeply with me when Jacqueline said it is because I’m so aware of the disconnect between what people see and the reality of situations right now. The pandemic times have really highlighted that more than ever. I believe that people often see the strength it takes to keep moving forward, or the courage to take the next step, and assume that there is no fear behind those actions. The truth is, there often is.
Fear is not inherently a bad thing, it’s designed to keep us safe. And, when we use it mindfully and intentionally, not letting it take over the driver’s seat, it absolutely has its place. As Jacqueline reminded me during our conversation: fear is based on past experiences but, in the present moment, we always have a choice. And therein lies the power and the opportunity to change the future by making different choices and taking different steps.
As Jacqueline so eloquently points out, it’s all about asking the right questions, in the moment. One of the most important questions we can ask is, “what about that matters?” Or, as I often phrase it with clients, “what’s important about that?” When we force ourselves to answer that question (or ask it of other people) we shift our focus from reacting--because we’re in the moment and that’s simply what we do--to curiosity and awareness.
When we allow ourselves (and others) to consider our why, to really think about the depth of what’s going on, where we are placing value on things, and why we are reacting the way we are reacting (ie resisting change or hanging onto the way we want things to be as opposed to how they are), then we can dig into the reality of our stories, the situation, and find a better path forward. Questions are so incredibly powerful during times of change for all those reasons and more.
One of the other things that is imperative during change is self-awareness. The more we are aware of and can manage our emotions and reactions in a situation, the better we are able to adjust our thinking to manage change and keep moving forward. Jacqueline points out that making time for self-reflection (in other words, making time for your own growth) is imperative if you want to move through change effectively. And isn’t that something we all want to do?
The better we know and understand ourselves, the more we trust ourselves. And when we trust ourselves, our instincts, our abilities, our reactions, we know that we are capable of handling any circumstance or situation that comes our way.
It doesn’t matter if we don’t know where to start, there’s always something we can do. As Jacqueline points out, we can always start by asking ourselves this one important question: what’s one thing I can do that would change everything?
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To learn more about Jacqueline Wales, you can find her online at https://thefearlessfactoratwork.com/.
She is also on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/jacquelinewales/) and Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/JacquelineWales/).