Getting Clear: Values Alignment in Leadership with Caryn Gillen

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More times than I can count, I’ve had people ask me “how” they practice managing themselves/their emotions/their reactions/whatever the specifics are when facing a challenging moment or situation. A version of this question has come up in one-on-one conversations, inside formal coaching relationships, during Q+A when I’m presenting, and in a myriad of other places. It is probably in the top ten questions I get asked on a regular basis. And every single time someone asks this question, I tell them the same thing: I don’t have a satisfactory answer for you because it all comes down to practicing those skills when you don’t need to use them. 

Easier said than done, right? I get it. 

But here’s what I really mean when I say that: if we haven’t found ways to practice whatever it is we are working on getting better at outside those moments of crisis, then we won’t be able to rely on any new behaviour inside them. We have to find ways to try out our new skills in low-stakes situations so that when the stakes are high we have a new habit or behaviour that we can pull from our toolbox. It’s all about the preparation. 

The more practice we have when we don’t need to rely on the skills, the better off we are. You have to work on building those muscles consistently, in an ongoing way, so that you have strength in them when you need them to kick in and carry the load. 

The same is true when it comes to most aspects of leadership. If we try and solve the problems while there is a crisis, or adjust our behaviour when we are triggered by a situation, or tie everything down in the middle of a storm, we are going to have a much harder time than if we had put the time in beforehand to be prepared for that moment. A little bit of preparation, some clarity and expectation setting, as well as consistent practice, makes a world of difference in our ability to show up in the moments that matter most. 

The same is true when it comes to values – doing the work up front, to get really clear on what our values are, will help us pull from that toolbox in any moment where a decision or choice is needed. When our values are truly aligned with who we are in the world and how we show up, then we have a place to look when we feel unsettled or unstable, as a touchpoint and reminder of who we are. 

And, our values don’t have to mean anything to anyone except ourselves… as long as they resonate for us, nothing else matters as much. 

This week on the podcast, Caryn Gillen and I get into all of this, and more. We talk about how important it is that people step up to lead and own their impact, how a little clarity really does go a long way, the importance of values alignment, and how to be a leader “ahead of time”. 

Caryn also shares a story of her time working on a commercial fishing boat, and what she learned from that experience. 

I’ve been very lucky to count Caryn among my friends for a few years, and I’m thrilled to share her wisdom with all of you. Beyond being a lovely human being, Caryn is also a kick-ass coach who has done some incredibly cool stuff in her day. And, she brings the most calm, cool, collected lens to things. You’ll love it! 

I hope you’ll join us for this great conversation and will leave you with this quote from the episode: “You can be in the struggle of judging yourself for the values you actually have or you can be in the struggle of living the values you actually have. There’s a similar caloric load but only one of them gives you alignment.” 

As well as the question: What does being a leader who’s living in alignment with my values look like – now and in a crisis?

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Caryn Gillen is a Master Certified Life Coach who holds multiple certifications and a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology.

Her experience includes commercial fishing, family business, project management, restaurant service/management, and the hotel management side of small ship cruising.

She has been concerned with revenue generation and client services since before she can even remember! 

Caryn loves and coaches two distinct groups of people. She mentors fellow life coaches who are moving into their identity as business leaders. And, she is also a performance + leadership coach for founders and execs who have had all the success they initially dreamed of and are now asking “What’s next?”

To learn more about Caryn and her work, visit caryngillen.com. You can also find her on all the social channels by searching her name @caryngillen (LinkedIn is her platform of choice for all things leadership and business-related).