Enforcing Boundaries At Work

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Early last year, I was invited to run a workshop for a small organization that was bringing its full team together in person for the first time since the pandemic.

The plan was to have around 50 people in the room, and the group was going to include everyone from the executive assistant to the CEO.

When we were planning the workshop, I had suggested a number of topics that might be a fit for the group (since the only things that had been clear from the beginning were that they wanted it to be related to culture and help them connect meaningfully). 

While I love culture and connection, that’s a pretty vague objective to have. 😬

During our conversations, I learned more about the company, how it planned to continue to grow, what the goals were, and how inclusive and people-focused they were. Their mandate and commitment to equity, anti-racism, and anti-oppression were inspiring and permeated every interaction we had in the absolute best way. 

One of the planning sessions included 5 people at different levels in the organization who were involved in bringing the agenda for the event to life.

It was during this session that it became very clear that a workshop on Feedback (The Other F Word 😆) would be most valuable to them and also most likely to create lasting change.

As many of you can imagine, I was VERY excited about this revelation, given feedback is one of my favourite topics, in general, let alone when I get to present a workshop on it! 

As we were getting into some of the key topics and takeaways from the workshop, one of the people on the call asked how I would address the challenges associated with power dynamics and feedback during the workshop, a question I’d never been asked before. I’ve always talked about power dynamics when it comes to feedback since people are hesitant to give meaningful feedback to those with more power than them. However, because planning sessions are usually with only senior leaders, I’d never been asked the question that specifically before. 

At that moment, I knew this workshop would be different, and it delivered in every way imaginable. 

The person who asked that question spurred something inside me that resulted in me doing a deep dive into power dynamics and how they show up in the workplace. I ended up including a section on power dynamics in the workplace and why they matter when it comes to feedback.

We reviewed different types of power (whether informal or formal), how power changes with context, why awareness of that fluidity is imperative in different relationships and situations, how privilege and power are related, and some strategies to balance or mitigate those power dynamics when it comes to giving and receiving feedback. 

The conversation that ensued during the workshop was absolutely fascinating and we spent more time discussing real examples of these situations than we did on the exercises I had prepared for the group–in my opinion, a sign of meaningful engagement!

One of the key topics that came up during the discussion around power dynamics was the concept of boundaries, how to communicate them effectively, and what to do when your boundaries aren’t being respected. There was a wide range of examples shared, and in almost every story, there was a very clear power dynamic involved that was affecting the people in that situation.

The reality is that most of us, especially anyone with marginalized characteristics, will need to enforce our boundaries at some point in time–if not many points in time.

At the end of the day, power isn’t just about hierarchy, it’s about perception, privilege, and relationships. If we aren’t intentional about acknowledging that before, during and after our feedback conversations, we’re missing the most important part of the dialogue.

That is exactly why I was excited to sit down with Meredith Holley and dive deeper into discussing workplace culture, boundaries, and power.

In this episode of Leading Through Crisis, Workplace Conflict Mediator, Communication Coach, and Civil Rights Attorney Meredith Holley shares her personal experience with landing her dream job–only to end up being sexually harassed by her boss.

She shares how that experience became one of the most transformative experiences of her life, what she learned about setting and enforcing effective boundaries (even when there’s an extreme power differential), and some solutions-based tips to help anyone who would like to develop more solid strategies for themselves.

This conversation is so relevant to the work and personal situations many of us are navigating today. 

When you watch or listen to this episode, you will walk away with a greater sense of personal power, knowing how to protect yourself and your peace. That’s worth 40 minutes, no?

“If people are acting like children in your environment, it’s okay to be the teacher.”

Setting and enforcing boundaries at work “is always about creating safety for yourself… it’s not about them.”

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Meredith Holley is a workplace conflict mediator, communication coach, civil rights attorney, and co-host of the Empowered Communication Podcast. Meredith helps mission-driven workplaces resolve toxic workplace conflict.

To learn more about Meredith and her work, visit https://erisresolution.com. 

To listen to the Empowered Communication Podcast, search for it on your platform of choice or head to https://www.erisresolution.com/podcast. 

You can also connect with her on social…

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meredith-holley-1716b9a8

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/meredith.holley

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/erisresolution