How Gratitude Can Change Your Life with Lorraine Widmer-Carson
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I have a client, and friend, who started talking about and using gratitude in his work very regularly a few years ago. It started very naturally when he created a gratitude practice for himself every day. He was looking for a touchpoint in his daily routine and had tried the practice of “write down 5 things you’re grateful for today,” but, ultimately, found it frustrating. Like so many of us who have been on that particular journey, you end up writing lists that look like this:
My parents because they are so thoughtful
My pets because they are so cute
My work because it lights me up
My partner because they love me
My health because I’m healthy
Unsurprisingly, my client ended up in a similar situation and realized that he was going through the motions of “gratitude” without really feeling it. So, at that point, we talked about different options. He tried out a few things and landed on the practice he uses to this day -- at the end of each day he reflects on everything that happened and writes down one thing that struck him as special, or unique, or magical and why it stands out to him. Then, he sits in that feeling and is grateful for the experience.
In the morning, he thinks about someone that he hasn’t connected with, or has had an impact on him, or that he wants to express gratitude for and sends them a short text or email saying what he needs to say.
The most important part of this is that if he misses a day or two, or takes time off from aspects of his practice while on vacation or with his family, he just gets right back to it when it feels right. Gratitude should not create shame or guilt, and remembering this has helped him truly have a practice that is meaningful for him.
Perhaps the most impactful part of his practice, has been how has used it with his team and the leaders that report to him. He asks people what they are grateful for during team meetings, and has everyone say one word to answer the question. He has created touchpoints in presentations and workshops he gives around having everyone in the room express gratitude in different ways. He’s sent boxes of gratitude notes (ones he designed himself) to leaders in his organization so they have an easy way to pass the gratitude on.
It’s been a privilege to witness and be on this journey with him in some small way.
When I spoke with Lorraine Widmer-Carson, author of “An Ecology of Gratitude: Writing Your Way to What Matters” I realized that he had started to create an ecosystem of gratitude, unintentionally, and that a lot of what he had done lined up with everything Lorraine speaks and writes about in her work.
He had proven out that a practice of gratitude creates a positive frame of mind, that gratitude is a connector and builds relationships, that being intentional and thoughtful about gratitude in the workplace helps people feel valued and want to stay in the organization, and that it’s more important to design a practice that works for you, than one that someone says should work for you.
Lorraine speaks to all of this, and more, in our conversation about gratitude. Her insight and willingness to share her experiences and what she learned in writing this book, is so helpful and important for anyone who is struggling to understand why so many people talk about gratitude, but so few of us actually make a practice out of it.
I would love to hear what you’re grateful for lately and why or one action step you’re willing to take to implement a gratitude practice either into your own life or with your team.
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To learn more about Lorraine and her work, visit grassrootsgratitude.ca. You can also find her on Instagram @Lorraine_Widmer_Carson.