Leading Across Cultures with Andrew Swiler
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I was talking to a client earlier this week who was telling me about all the things they “should” get done before the end of the year, and bemoaning not having enough time. “I should set aside a few hours to do a wrap-up of the year… I should take my son shopping for presents before the weekend when everything gets really crazy... I should make sure all the holiday cards are mailed out by Wednesday so they get to people in time... I should check to make sure we have everything we need for dinner next week...” and on and on. At a certain point, I stopped them and said, “You have a real case of the shoulds today, don’t you?” They laughed, but then paused and quite earnestly asked me what I meant.
My response went something like this:
“Everything that you’ve been listing for the past few minutes has started with a version of ‘I should…’ Nothing you’ve mentioned has involved wanting to do or being excited about doing x, y, z. In fact, it sounds like all of your shoulds are things someone else has decided ‘matter’ and you’ve accepted just because, or are rules that you’re following without question, rather than things you are intentionally choosing to do and spend your time on.”
Perhaps unsurprisingly, I got quite a bit of pushback from them when I pointed this out. “Céline, I HAVE to send out holiday cards. Everyone expects them from us and I don’t want them to get there after the new year. You don’t understand, we have 8 people coming over for dinner next (insert day here). If I don’t make sure everything is taken care of, we won’t end up eating. I know how important it is to reflect on the year that just passed and set intentions for the new year before it starts if I want to have a great 2024. I really need to set aside the time to do that…”
🙄👀😬
“So… exactly what I was saying then?”
😆😆😆
Let’s be honest for a second, many people suffer from a case of the shoulds around this time of year – especially when it comes to expectations and the sometimes unspoken, unacknowledged, and in other cases, openly discussed and well-known rules of engagement that are part and parcel of holidays and families.
But the thing is, the shoulds we so often assume are “the way things are done”, and the “rules” we accept without question because (obviously) someone, somewhere thought long and hard about what they entailed before implementing them, are actually meaningless when we take the power away from them and question their raison d’etre.
In fact, they are often so specific to our particular situation or circumstances that they ultimately become an excuse to simply accept the status quo, a reason to avoid all conflict, or to continue on the beaten path because it’s tried, tested, and true.
And the real bummer about shoulds is that they are like cancer: once they take root in one place, they spread very easily in other places, especially those we don’t pay much attention to.
If we shift our lens slightly and pull back a bit, it becomes clear that the phenomenon of 'shoulds' doesn't just reside within the confines of our personal lives; it extends into our professional sphere as well. Just as we often find ourselves caught in a whirlwind of obligations and expectations at home, in our workplaces, these 'shoulds' manifest in a different guise. They come dressed as traditional business practices, long-held company policies, or even in the form of self-imposed standards we believe are necessary for success and recognition. The thread connecting these two worlds is the underlying mindset: a habitual response to external pressures and perceived norms, regardless of whether they align with our true values or objectives. Understanding this connection is crucial, especially for those in leadership roles, as it influences not only personal well-being but also the health and direction of our organizations.
What I mean by that is the people who are busily shoulding their way through their day-to-day lives are often the same people who should their way through their professional lives and spend much of their time feeling unfulfilled, out of alignment, or like they aren’t living up to their full potential.
As we approach the end of the year, it's a fitting time for reflection – not just on our accomplishments but also on the motivations behind our actions. The 'shoulds' that we've discussed aren't inherently negative; they often stem from a place of responsibility and commitment. However, the challenge for us, especially as leaders, is to discern which of these 'shoulds' align with our true values and goals.
In the corporate world, this translates to prioritizing intentionality and authenticity. Imagine leading a team where actions are driven not by unexamined routines or external expectations, but by a shared sense of purpose and enthusiasm. This shift from a 'should' mindset to a 'want' or 'choose to' mindset can be transformative. It can lead to more engaged teams, innovative thinking, and ultimately, a more fulfilling professional life.
A great example of examining the shoulds and making choices that, ultimately, align with the reality of the people involved, as well as leadership/company values and goals is this week’s Leading Through Crisis guest, Andrew Swiler.
In this episode, Entrepreneur, Investor & CEO Andrew Swiler talks to us about his experience taking over a Ukranian company 3 months after the war started. We get into:
How doing what is typically done during an acquisition would not have worked here
The types of things they were dealing with and how they led through it
What they learned
And, why the status quo wasn’t cutting it
The company, Lanteria, is a Human Resources Management System (HRMS) software so we also discuss what that is, what it can do, the opportunities that exist in that space right now, and why it matters.
This is a conversation about compassionate, growth-focused leadership, human resources/ management, and retention. It also really highlights leading through a crisis, like war, that affects everyone. I hope you’ll join us for this one.
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Andrew Swiler has been an entrepreneur for 10 years. Working across several software verticals. Andrew is a strategic entrepreneur and investor. He is currently the CEO of Lanteria, a leading HR software for Microsoft users headquartered in Seattle, WA.
To learn more about Lanteria visit https://www.lanteria.com/. To connect with Andrew, seek him out on Twitter (https://twitter.com/swilera) or LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/swiler/).